Hi, this is Marni Battista from datingwithdignity.com and welcome back to this four part series on how to master the calm process because life gives us lots of opportunities to be stressed and anxious and worried and so I’m teaching you in these four videos how to be calm.
So in the first video we talk about the C, which is changing your mindset, and we talked about identifying your romantic rut and some choice points that you can make.
Last time we talked about how it’s really important to always adjust your mindset and we talked about four different parts of yourself that you can check in with to be able to do that and to raise your energy levels to a place opportunity and positivity.
So today we are going to talk about the third part, which is the L, which is love yourself. And this is really important and sometimes it seems simple.
You know, I hear people say all the time I love myself or ill hear people say that’s weird isn’t that like egotistical to love yourself?
So I want to tell you what it means in terms of this process and how to really attract a partner. When you love yourself, you basically treat yourself like you would treat that guy you’re dreaming of.
So think about how you beat yourself up. Why did I do that? Oh, you’re not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m too fat. I have too many kids. I’m not worthy. I don’t deserve it.
Now I know ladies, if you have that guy sitting across the table from you or lying in bed next you, you would never say the things to some that you love that you say to yourself.
So the first step of loving yourself is to start being nice to you. Change the thoughts, that self-deprecating. Sometimes it even comes out as humor.
But the power of words is immeasurable and if you say it, even in just, or you say it to yourself, your putting catabolic negative energy and hormones into your body and that is not the energetic vibration that is going to attract that man you’re looking for.
So by loving yourself, not only do you speak kindly to yourself, but I want you to start dating you. What does that look like?
Well I’ve had several clients that have undergone this process and let me give you some examples. So my favorite male client, Sam, wanted to start doing this and we was like well that’s weird, dating myself, that’s not macho.
So I told him here’s what it looks like, this is what he did, he had always wanted to go hiking. We live in California here and he said I know there are all these incredible spots and I’ve always been waiting for that right girl to take hiking.
So what Sam did, he ended up taking himself on some incredible hiking opportunities and he researched it, just like he was going to do it for a date and you know what?
He said when he climbed that first peak and he sat there overlooking the ocean and feeling the wind and being hot and feeling really proud of himself that he had done this on his own.
He felt confident. He felt proud of himself and it made him really happy and he had a spiritual moment up there. That’s what it looks like when you date yourself.
Now my female client, she ended up taking some classes that she had always wanted to take and what it is was, pole dancing. Now she’s not dating anyone or she didn’t want to pick men up by her sultry moves, but she always wanted to try this out.
So she got really involved in her pole dancing class. She met lots of girlfriends and they would go out for coffee and she had all these new friends and she just felt like her life was amazing.
You know what happened?
About three months after she started pole dancing, that’s when she met her boyfriend and they are together now. So I want you think, what are some things that I can do in the next few days or this weekend to start dating myself.
Because you once you do this. You will start to fall in love with you and the magic happens and you feeling like you have this amazing life.
Now here’s the last part and it’s really important.
When you really love yourself, you know that you are worthy and you won’t accept crumbs, which can look like men who only text and don’t call or ask you out but ask you out at the last minute, and you start to know that you are worth being treated as a queen, as a princess, as a woman who deserves to have that dream guy.
And when you love yourself, when they don’t call or you get a little rejected, it’s okay because you know that you are amazing because you are in love with you.
And last but not least, remember when you love yourself, you will attract someone who can love you because if you don’t think your good enough to love, how can you ever expect someone else to love you in the deep way that you want and have that amazing partnership.
So love yourself. Your homework? Take yourself out on a fabulous date this weekend and I look forward to talking to you soon.
Have a great night, bye.
About the author
Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, has professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as training in the Core Energy Coaching Process from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC).
A certified Life Coach through the International Coaching Federation, Battista is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy Assessment-”The D-Factor”-which helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are or are not “date-able” and what types of messages they unconsciously broadcast to men based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes.
To know more about Marni Battista, visit her website, http://datingwithdignity.com/
Powered by Facebook Comments