Christian: Marni, do you know what time it is?
Marni: It’s time to take it slow.
Christian: It sure is because we are here at the dating den. I’m Christian, this is Marni, in case you got confused because we both do have dark hair and olive skin. We get confused a lot. But we are talking about pace.
Christian: And enjoying the time and the development of dating and sometimes we get caught up and we might start moving too quickly, which might not be the best thing.
Marni: This happens so much. So people coach with me or they take my class and it’s all good and fine to be a dignity dater when there’s no chemistry and you’re just not really feeling it.
The minute they meet a guy who is great they are like, oh my god he’s awesome. They are like this is different I swear.
They are all like really I need this; I just need this for myself. And what happens is it turns into a train wreck.
Marni: Quickly, and it just breaks my little heart and it breaks their little heart.
Christian: They throw that whole beautiful DD book aside and they just dive head first
Marni: They do, so it’s really important to get to know someone overtime because what we want is for him to be amazing, consistently, overtime.
And one of the things you and I were talking about is that if a guy is really into you, and it feels really good and you’re like oh my god this is amazing, he’s into me like I am to him and it feels really great.
However, if a guy is making you feel like you’re in a relationship after a week, like he’s asking you out every night or he’s texting you like twelve times a day and you’ve only known each other six days, that’s a red flag, right?
Christian: Yeah, it’s sound more like a need and filling a void as opposed to something slowing to grow in trust a process and just be in the moment, which we talk about a lot. So if he’s saying hey lets hang out again, I had such a great time. Let’s hang out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. It’s easy to fall into that because…
Marni: It feels good and you’re all validated. So you need to set boundaries and I love that you went on a date and someone actually did a little…
Christian: Yeah, I played one of my man cards, which you know, I was like why don’t we go to the planetarium. Let’s get a vast look at the stars and have a good time for a first time.
And part of me was definitely trying to woo her. I was playing a little game or two. She’s like alright before we go on such a romantic rendezvous, why don’t we just go grab some coffee and get to know each other?
My respect level for her went from like girl I’m just try to, you know, not seduce, but completely spin her head over heels to wow, quality cool awesome girl so sharp and now I kind of went from, I change my man-tactic totally.
I was like wow classic girl, great, I’m putting on my classy outfit.
Marni: So here’s the thing, don’t be like the victim like oh but he did it. No, he didn’t do it to you. This girl was like I want to meet you for coffee. So you’re driving. You get to choose what works for you.
So you create the pacing because, what we were talking about, it’s a little seed and if you wanted to bloom and grow and be something really beautiful then you have to take it slow.
Christian: Because if a little seedling is put into the most wonderful nutrient ground, it’s not like oh my god I have to grow real quickly. It still takes some time to develop and grow and it eats the right food.
So the same thing for you. If it feels really good, feel real awesome, great, allow it to develop on its own. The slower you go, the faster you get there.
Marni: I love that
Christian: Really allow it to happen. It happens in nature. It happens with us in relationship because if it is going to be a strong relationship, it has to be able to stand the test of time.
So just allow it to really grow and develop, get to know each other and if there’s a great vibe, awesome. If you’re thinking about the person for 3-4 days, now you’re excited to see them
Christian: Allow it to be happen.
SMarni: o five dates is not a relationship.
Marni: So that’s really great advice. So take it slow, its summer, don’t let the heat get to you girl. Alright we will see you soon
Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, has professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as training in the Core Energy Coaching Process from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC).
A certified Life Coach through the International Coaching Federation, Battista is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy Assessment-”The D-Factor”-which helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are or are not “date-able” and what types of messages they unconsciously broadcast to men based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes.
To know more about Marni Battista, visit her website, http://datingwithdignity.com/
Christian Anderson is a dating expert and a host that works with several different live seminars and TV shows. He is committed to helping men and women develop the life-long relationships they seek through dignified dating and proper visioning.
To know more about Christian, visit his website, http://www.letstalkdatingonline.com
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