Hey, this is Marni Battista from datingwithdignity.com and welcome back to the second video in our series working through the calm process to really attract and magnetize that relationship that you’re looking for. So let me just review.
Yesterday, we really talked about your default tendencies and how you might just go back to your old belief system because it’s what you experienced so far in your life if you don’t begin to change your mindset, and that’s what C is, change your mindset.
We used a tool called the romantic rut, in which we identified choice points for you to begin and to actually change your mindset. So now that that is one to become a reality for you, the next part is really important and it’s something we all have to do every day.
And I know that I do it all the time. And that’s A adjust always. Because here’s the thing, it would be a myth for us to assume that everyone is happy and perfect and joyful all the time because the truth is that life happens.
We get cut off in traffic. We get rejected. We get disappointed. We get really mad. We feel really sorry for ourselves.
So it’s your responsibility to always adjust that mindset back to the positivity of creating win-win situations and seeing everything that comes into your life, even if it’s not a great date, as an opportunity.
So how do you adjust?
I have a technique and it’s really based on some energy work that I do, in which there are seven levels of energy. Level seven would be like this reserved for, what we call, gods and gurus.
You know, total Zen and it’s your absolute passion. We all have moments like that, but that’s not the goal. And then it goes all the way down to level one.
Level one is really that victim energy where you feel like life is happening to you. Its why does this always happen to me. I’m afraid my time is over.
What if it’s too late?
When you get to level one, we begin to feel really disempowered and really hopeless. Level two is that conflict energy we talk about yesterday when I was describing my client Sue and that’s the fighter.
She believes that everything is really hard and she has trouble with trust. So what happens is you can begin to look at the four parts of yourself and see where your energy is in each part.
When you do this detective work, you can make the adjustments to your mindset.
So let me tell you what those four pieces of self are. Number one is your physical self, your body. How do you feel in your physical self?
And what we do is we go back and say energetically, where’s my body at right now? Is it in conflict? Is it tense? Is it tight? Or is it apathy, feeling sad and lonely, withdrawn?
Or are you feeling in that ideal place, which is level five win-win confident opportunity place? So sometimes, just by adjusting your body, you can change your mindset.
Try it. Embody, you know, I hate dating, what does that look like? And then embody, the right guy is looking for me.
How does that feel? Chest is up, you feel good. So the next thing you can look at after your physical self is your intellect, your mental state. What’s the energy around that? How are your thoughts? Are they at a high vibration, an opportunity?
Or are you feeling sorry for yourself? Are you mad? Adjust your energy for your mental levels and then you will really be feeling empowered about changing your mindset.
So the third part of yourself that you constantly need to use as an adjustment opportunity is to really look at your emotions.
Now your emotions are sometimes really connected to that mental piece, but we need to do is we need to ask ourselves how am I really feeling? So if you’re feeling really sad and your feeling really disempowered, what can you do to raise your energy into an opportunity?
Maybe it’s making a gratitude list. Sometimes my clients say when they are feeling low energy emotionally, they need to reach out to a friend.
Maybe they need to go hug their dog or pet their cat. So again it’s adjusting your mindset by taking stock of your emotional levels and making adjustments. The last piece is your spirituality.
This can be one of the most powerful and efficient ways to change your mindset. It’s really taking time to quiet and center yourself and get into a practice of listening to messages from within from that deep part of you that is so wise and can give you exactly what you need to change your mindset.
So I will review for you, in order to always adjust your mindset, take a look at your energy of the four parts of yourself, physical, mental, emotional, and then your spiritual.
So tomorrow when we come back with the next video, we are going to look at the third part of this calm process and that’s love, love yourself.
So don’t forget to do your homework tonight, which is to start to look at how you can adjust your mindset when you start to tank. Alright, talk to you tomorrow, bye.
Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, has professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as training in the Core Energy Coaching Process from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC).
A certified Life Coach through the International Coaching Federation, Battista is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy Assessment-”The D-Factor”-which helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are or are not “date-able” and what types of messages they unconsciously broadcast to men based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes.
To know more about Marni Battista, visit her website, http://datingwithdignity.com/
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