In this video Clay talks about how the grand romantic gesture can backfire when you are trying to win your ex back, and what you should do instead.
Grand gestures don’t work
Buying your ex’s love back with an expensive or elaborate gift or surprising your ex with a grand romantic gesture are mistakes many people make. It may work in Hollywood movies where a screenwriter weaves a complicated plot meant to entertain audiences, but your life is not a Hollywood movie.
One action is not enough
In real life when you do a grand romantic gesture you will be triggering feelings of guilt in your ex. Furthermore, it’s a flash in the pan thing. It says “hey look at this one great thing I’ve done” but it will never make up for all your inconsistencies throughout the relationship. It will not make them forget all the times you took them for granted, ignored them or didn’t tell them you loved them.
Give your ex consistency
What you really need to do is prove to your ex that you can be consistent. It takes more than a single, bold action. You have to prove to them that they are not getting into the same relationship that they walked out of. You have to develop your relational skills and consistently show them that you are not the same person they walked out on. Only when you can do this will they begin to think of getting back into a relationship with you.
You need to learn some advanced, interpersonal relational skills so that you can cultivate such a deep personal connection with your ex that they will not be able to imagine being without you. A single grand gesture will not make your ex forget all the bad parts of your previous relationship nor will it do anything to prove to them that you have changed. Instead of wasting your efforts on one flash in the pan thing, consistently show your ex through a series of actions that they can trust you and that you are not the same person they walked out the door on.
About Clay Andrews
Clay and Mika are the creators of Ex Solution Program and help couples get back together.
Powered by Facebook Comments