You’ve done online dating, you’ve read all the relationship books, you’ve done speed dating and still you don’t have the relationship you want.
Or maybe you’ve been in a committed relationship for many years and the passion isn’t what it used to be. Perhaps your house is what needs attention. That’s right your house, specifically your bedroom.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, many people have relationships on their mind.
Here are some tips to help you get your bedroom ready for romance for Valentine’s Day and beyond.
7 Tips to Get Your Bedroom Ready for Romance
1. Remove/Cover all mirrors
One of the easiest ways to increase romantic drive is to get a good night’s sleep. So to improve your sleep and your libido, remove or cover all mirrors.
This includes dresser mirrors and wardrobe door mirrors. Unless you are using them as a romance aid, mirrors do not belong in the bedroom.
They have the effect of activating energy, and thus can cause restless sleep.
Often people blame their interrupted sleep on movement of their bed-mate during the night, when in actuality it may be the mirrors.
And believe it or not, seeing your own reflection in a mirror in the dark of the night can be startling. Even if only for a fraction of a second, being startled in your own bedroom is not what anyone needs.
Hanging curtains in front of closet doors is an ideal solution. They can be opened during the day for easy access to the mirrors and the closet, and closed at night for restful sleep.
For mirrors hung over dressers, cover them with a lovely piece of fabric, or just toss a towel over it before you go to sleep.
2. A Hideaway for Two
Look at your bedroom and ask yourself, “Does this room inspire romance in me?” If yes, great!
If not, take note of everything you see that does not inspire romance. That doesn’t mean everything in the room must be romantically inspiring.
In a recent radio interview, the host asked me about dressers in the bedroom. I consider dressers to be neutral. They neither inspire, nor thwart romance.
There may be exceptions, for example, if the drawers are left open with clothes tumbling out of them, this could thwart romance.
However, if the clothes tumbling out are sexy, or lacy, they may inspire romance and set the mood. Do you understand the difference?
One could be considered staging, and the other is likely a distraction. Exercise equipment, laptops, televisions, bookshelves, etc. are items commonly found in bedrooms that would be better kept elsewhere.
3. Easy Access
This is most common in bedrooms of single men – the bed pushed up against one wall, the way many of us did when we were children.
Granted, for the most economical use of space, this may seem necessary. Just know that it is at the cost of a balanced relationship.
You may think that climbing over your partner for a late night bathroom break is romantic. And, yes, it can be; when it is a choice not a requirement.
Be sure there is enough room on both sides of the bed for easy access. This establishes the sense of being welcome.
No jumping through hoops required to share your bed with you. This way, if your partner climbs over you to get in or out of bed, you will know it’s because they want to be near you.
4. It Takes Two
If you want a balanced, equal, partnership, then reflect that in your bedroom.
Many single people, or couples that have one dominant partner, have only one night table in their bedroom. Putting one on each side is the first step to setting the foundation for an equal partnership.
Although they can be identical, they don’t have to be. They do need to match or look like they belong together.
In other words, they should be similar in height, width, depth and density.
You don’t want one that is much taller than the other. And in case you are wondering, a bookcase or dresser near one side of the bed does not count as a night table, unless that is exactly what you have on the other side of the bed.
You can be creative with this.
For example, you could put a round table on one side and a square table on the other side, as long as they are similar sizes and density.
Round is feminine and the angular lines of the square are masculine. Don’t forget to decorate them equally, such as placing matching or similar lamps on each table.
5. A Room With a View
When it comes to art in the bedroom, be sure it inspires romance in both partners, not just one. The bedroom of one single male with whom I consulted had the walls full of paintings of naked women.
This may have inspired romance for him, but for many women, this could cause them to feel self-conscious or insecure. It may even give them the sense that they are competing for his attention with many other women.
Artwork, especially in the bedroom, should inspire romance. Pictures of couples or romantic scenes are the best choices. Ideally, a romance inspiring piece of art is visible from the bed by both people, such as on the wall opposite the foot of the bed.
This ensures that both people have the same view, the same perspective and the same inspiration. If your bedroom has an adjoining bathroom, consider closing the door, at least partially.
There is nothing romantic about a toilet, regardless of whether the lid is up or down.
6. Leave My Family Out of It
Family photos and photos of friends are wonderful to have around the home, but not in the bedroom. Remember, the bedroom should be dedicated to sleeping and romance.
You wouldn’t want your family or friends watching your intimate moments with your mate so don’t keep their pictures in your bedroom.
I’m not saying that they can actually see you via their photographs.
I am saying that by bringing photos of family and friends into your bedroom, you are likely to bring them into your relationship more than they need to be.
The bedroom should be your safe-haven from the outside world. Create a space where only you and your partner exist.
7. Gotta Have Faith
Religious items are another item best kept outside of the bedroom, or at least out of sight. In the bedroom, you are connecting with another human being.
I’ve heard some people say “it’s a spiritual experience” when they are being intimate with their mate. Still, that is very different than religious.
Depending upon a person’s upbringing, religious symbols can invoke guilt or even shame around the physical act of love. Remember, the things in your bedroom should either be neutral or inspire romance.
Religious symbols would not invoke romance for many people. If you must have them in your bedroom, try to place them so they are not in direct view from the bed.
About the author
For romance tips on your closet and other areas of your home, read 8 Ways Your Home May Be Sabotaging Your Love Life.
Helen Arabanos is a Professional Feng Shui Consultant based in Westlake Village, CA, and the author of HE’S INTO YOU… But Is His Home? What a Man’s Feng Shui Can Reveal About Him.
To know more about Helen Arabanos, visit her website www.FullBloomFengShui.com
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