Did anyone ever warn you that being married is a constant effort with great reward? Being married takes time, work, validation, communication and intimacy. My clients laugh at me when I tell them to set up an “appointment” or date with their spouse. I tell them “if it’s not set or written down, it won’t happen.” Time Putting the time aside for one another is so important for a happy marriage. We all get caught up in our day to day lives; it is easy to put your marriage on … [Read more...]
So what's the difference between being married and being happily married? It might be simpler than you think. In my experience as a private practice therapist I have seen many behaviors and habits that tend to strengthen relationships as well as those that tend to tear relationships apart. Often, the difference between the two isn't really that drastic. A minor shift in perspective along with learning some new habits can go a long way toward strengthening your bond with your … [Read more...]
The average couple will spend hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars preparing for their wedding day. I get it. It’s an important lovely day. It’s a party for family and friends and, in some cases, an opportunity for the bride’s childhood dreams to come true. Over 50% of these well-spent couples will end up divorced. There doesn’t appear to be any correlation between the lavishness of the wedding and the health and longevity of the marriage. So, while you’re doing everything … [Read more...]
Does your husband inform you about better ways to load the dishwasher? Does your wife keep bugging you to go to the gym with her? Does your partner tell you over and over about the same complaint? Why is this happening and how can you get it to stop? Case in point: James and Lydia came to my office - they both agreed that they got along well, except for one thing – she nagged him and/or he didn’t listen. His point of view was that she was always on him for something and it felt … [Read more...]
I’m not talking about doing things together; I’m not even talking about sharing feelings, or making love. These are important, but every one knows them. I’m talking about having good arguments with your husband/partner and having women friendships – separate from your mate. Let’s start with the good arguments. As a marriage and family therapist, I always worry when couples tell me they never argue. It really is hard to imagine people living together and never getting … [Read more...]
