It is usually said women are more fickle-minded than men.
No matter how many times a woman breaks off in relationships, it’s not uncommon for a man to pursue her relentlessly until he wins her over…again. This might be true for some women, but for others, they might be suffering from an abusive relationship.
There may be no physical harm, but verbal abuse leads to mental degradation and the woman loses her confidence, self-esteem, and worse, her sense of self.
Hopefully that’s not the case with you. If that is, you’ll need professional help.
This time, for sure, you want it to be over. As in over. Finished. The end. Adios, amigo there’s no more next time! It might be because you’re bored and the magic isn’t there anymore, you’ve both tried everything to make things work but it only leads to more fights, this is the perfect time to end things.
While you’ve decided you’re 120% positive you don’t want the relationship to continue, you need to consider some factors, and a few of these tips might help.
1. Make sure to iron things out.
Spontaneity doesn’t help in this case. Don’t add fuel to the fire. Breaking up while the two of you are fighting is spurred on by the heat of the moment. He might think of it as one of your whims or empty threats, and this would reflect poorly on you.
Setting a neutral place and time might help, make him understand you’ve been thinking about this for a long time and you feel tired of all that has been happening. If you’re living together, set a deadline on how long you’ll still shack up until you find another apartment or move into your parents’ or friend’s house.
2. Face it.
Although not all break ups are nasty, chances are you need to strengthen your resolve and do this in person. Who wants a goodbye message on a post it?
Over the phone seems off, a text message is too cowardly, and there’s no other way to go about it but face to face. It’s not easy, but you owe it to him. Look him in the eyes and tell him you want to move on. He might not accept it at first but make him see things the way you do.
3. Be firm, but not rude.
Say what you mean to say. While preparing a little speech, don’t overdo the introduction.
You can start out by saying, “we need to talk” and be able to gauge his mood, for you to decide how to continue. Don’t give subtle hints, just get straight to the point and he’ll thank you for it.
Show him you mean it, don’t let him sweet talk you into staying. While it’s usually believed most men get over relationships faster than women, they still deserve the respect and polite words.
Try to cushion the fall by saying you want to let go of him not out of spite. If it’s because you found someone else, be honest about it. Nothing hurts a man’s pride more than being the last to know.
Remember, what goes around comes around. You never know if you’ll be the recipient of the bad bargain next time. How would you deal with it then?
4. Take out the trash.
We’re talking not only about the dirt in your apartment, but the photos, the gifts, and all the things that remind you of him must go. Especially if it was a bad relationship, just get rid of the mementos immediately.
Scrubbing floors, cleaning the toilets, and just dusting some furniture are a good way to ease the stress. At the end of the day, not only is your new place clean, but you’ll feel 10 pounds lighter too, and then you can take a deep breath.
5. You’re single again, so prove it.
Don’t think about him, and don’t talk about him. Part of the after break up is not checking out your ex’s Facebook page, or any other social network site he has.
This might reach some mutual friends, if you have them, and he’ll eventually learn of it. He’ll think there’s a chance of getting back together, and all your effort would go to waste.
Delete him from your phonebook, erase his emails, and just eradicate his presence in your life for a while. It’s a different story altogether if you trash him on twitter. This is petty and you’re above that. If it’s that bad, just be indifferent, no need to attack another’s character.
6. Hunt for new hangouts.
Try to distance yourself for a while and avoid your usual hangouts. If you see him in the grocery, go the other way. If he’s a coworker, be professional in the workplace.
If you’re sure he’s moved on and has a hot date on his arm, then that’s the time to make your presence felt. It’s up to the both of you if you want to be friends in the far future.
If you have someone new in the first few months after your breakup, be sure not to revisit your favorite restaurant where he’ll likely be, and display your new guy like a trophy.
Not only is it rubbing salt on open wounds, but your new partner might get turned off if he learns he’s being used like that.
7. Life goes on.
So you finally set yourself free. Should you celebrate? If you feel like it, why not? These things that happen are one of life’s lessons. They’re a part of living and helps you grow.
While some of the above tips might not apply to you, we hope you’ll still these tips useful for you. Make your own list if you want. The aftermath could be like a roller coaster depending on your partner’s personality.
Sometimes, when he’s having difficulty accepting the facts, he might try stalking. If this is the case, make sure you’re in a safe environment, surrounded by friends who support you.
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