You’ve tried everything – spending quality time with her, reliving the romance, and all the fun things that made you two click, but it just doesn’t ignite that spark anymore.
Did working things out between you tried your patience to the limit? Or do you just feel that your love for her has just dried up no matter what you do?
Does making things right result in screaming fights and public displays? Breaking up is always the last option, and in your case, probably the right one.
You might give your girl less grief when you let her go. But how do you break things off and not get a hand print on your face? Or a drink spilled on your shirt?
Try some of these tips and maybe you could walk out of the place and your relationship – unscathed.
1. Tell her the truth.
If it’s another woman, admit it. If there’s no third party and you feel you just fell out of love, say it. There’s no hard and fast rule or spiel to drop the bomb.
There’s no guarantee she wouldn’t cry or beg to make it work between you two, but if you’re sincere about what you’re saying, it should come naturally.
Pause a little and let her absorb your words. After all, there’s no easy way to break up and the ones that have that are few and far between, which brings us to the next tip.
2. Choose your words wisely.
You’re making history here. While the truth may set you free, the dilemma is how to say it. Surely you’ve never heard of the polite way to say “there’s someone else”. She’ll think she isn’t good enough, who won’t.
You might try easing the tension by saying that while you were together you were really into her and you were serious about the relationship, but it’s just not working anymore. Exert the effort to soften the blow with gentle words.
3. Timing is everything.
It’s safe to not break up on your anniversary. It’s self-explanatory. Don’t do it in one of your “firsts” like first kiss, first date, or first movie.
Putting a dent on a good memory is tantamount to your own character assassination. These moments of your time together are all she has to remember you, don’t change that.
She’ll thank you one day that at least she shared something happy with you when you were together. Arrange things in such a way the both of you are on a day off, so that you have clearer minds. It brings us to the next tip in relation with this one.
4. Location, location, location.
You might wanna try ending things in some place the both of you haven’t been to before. Like with the timing, the place where you’ll break it off with her matters a lot.
Choose a quiet place where the atmosphere is conducive to meditation. It would be easier for her to let out all her emotions when you’re in a place not frequented by people.
5. Put yourself in her shoes.
Men handle things differently than women. Imagine yourself getting that kind of news. Just when you thought you’re ready for another go, he’s the one giving up.
Prepare yourself for the worst kind of name calling in the history of break ups. Allow some tongue-bashing and sailors’ curses. Never make jokes about this kind of thing.
She would see that you’re not serious after all and the relationship was just a game. Don’t try to make her laugh.
6. Avoid shouting matches – if you can help it.
She’s on a short fuse, but doesn’t mean you should be too. Again, let her vent with one great speech. Maybe for you, there’s nothing she can do or say that would change the way you feel about this major decision, but listen to what she has to say.
Try offering a glass of water if available, at your own risk. The operative word is “calm”. Don’t cut her off when she’s saying something, that’s bound to get you to a longer and more violent argument.
7. Don’t point any fingers.
The moment she hears the “it’s not you, it’s me” poor excuse for a break up line, she might throw you a punch or refuse to listen. Make her see things the way you do, without stressing the faults.
In reiteration, you may tell her it’s better for the both of you to part ways instead of arguing all the time. Think about it, if she can’t see reason, don’t force her.
8. Give her space.
If you don’t remember the first line in Chicago’s “Hard to Say I’m Sorry”, let us refresh your memory. “Everybody needs a little time away…”.
Now is a good time to do that. While the wounds are still fresh, minimize your presence in her life until she comes to grips with herself and the reality sets in.
Let her get used to waking up without you, or dinners by herself or just her friends, but you can discreetly check her progress.
If you think the time is right to reenter her life say, as a friend, then don’t lead her on. Slowly ease your way as the reliable friend.
You might not save the romantic relationship, but try to save the friendship. If you started out as friends, time would make things right.
After that, then what? So, you’re single again or in a new relationship. Don’t flaunt your freedom or new girl while your ex is in the getting over stage.
These things take time, and makes one grow. In reference to another song, this time by James Ingram, “there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart”.
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