Ending a relationship with someone you love is one of the most difficult phases you need to endure in your life. After all, the saying goes true “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”.
After all, thinking he or she is “the one” only to have the dream crashing down, is just plain devastating, it’s also reality.
It happens in real life, maybe it happened with your friends, and now it’s your turn to share the depression pie.
There’s no time limit or deadline to moving on, what’s important is for you to focus on yourself. It could take months, or maybe even years for some.
Not all are lucky to part on amicable terms.
Now, these are few of the things you need to remember to put it all in the past, and look forward to your future – without him/her.
1. Accept it.
It’s normal for things not to sink in, in the first few days or weeks. This is the denial stage, but remember: it’s through, you’re single, deal with it.
There’s no other way to sugarcoat it. Keep in mind you can do whatever you like. Think about the people who love you. You’re still loved.
Don’t go hysterical and question why the gods brought this down on you, or asking “why me?!”. There’s a reason that this happened, and you might not have an immediate answer, but you’ll have it when the time is right.
2. Wallow in pain.
That’s right, be depressed and act on it. For the women, cry your heart out. If that’s not your thing, how about some retail therapy?
For men, you may feel tempted to get yourselves into a drunken stupor, or engage in fistfights with your friends or break stuff -but please don’t do that. Take some days off from work if you could. You might not function normally when you’re in that stage.
You’ll just be a shell of your self while your mind is drifting away to neverland. If you’re in your personal space, try aroma therapy, some lavender and chamomile could help calm your nerves.
Recite a mental mantra that goes something like “I’m strong and I’ll get through this” or “this too shall pass”. Your time alone is important. If you think you’ve spent too much alone time, then call on your back up, which brings us to the next advice.
3. Surround yourself with friends.
They are very important since they are your support group. Pick out the closest ones to you, whom you’ve been through a lot with, and whom you can trust to not let you down.
No matter what happens, you still need to be in the company of people who’ll understand what you’re going through, and while they may not offer comfort words, they’re there to offer their hugs, or maybe a shoulder to cry on.
At this point in time, you might feel nothing could make it right, but give them a chance to cheer you up. Do stuff with them, go to an amusement park, just stay away from the places you and your partner often went to.
Schedule a pig-out buffet, go swimming, or hit the karaoke bar. Don’t be without friends.
4. Distract yourself.
There are times your friends may not be there to do things with you. Do something new, enroll in a cooking class or devote your time to doing something you love. This is part of your self-reinvention.
Try knitting or origami, and if you are a guy, work on a project. It could be anything interesting like throwing out stuff that reminds you of that person. Cleaning your apartment until it sparkles could help. Just do something to get your mind off him or her.
5. Comfort food.
The words say it all. Eat! Eat to your heart’s content. Hot chocolate with marshmallows, pizza with beer – consume anything that brings happiness to you.
Don’t let one person destroy how the food makes you feel. Enjoy the flavors, savor your food. While some are unable to eat because of appetite loss due to depression, make an effort.
It’s worth it. Hunger won’t get him or her back, but when you eat something delicious, you nourish yourself.
It goes both ways, you’re fulfilling a basic human need, and putting a smile to your face at the same time. But at the same time don’t overdo it because at the end of the day you don’t want to add on too many pounds to your body.
6. Get those creative juices flowing.
Write a novel or a short story, even a diary might help, but do not relive the days of your time together. It destroys the purpose. You write something to make yourself happy. Make a list of your favorite things to do.
Try a new hobby like reading, if that’s not one of your pastimes. Watching funny and no-brainer movies could also help.
Just put yourself in a happy phase, and if you’re serious about moving on, try it. We know it’s difficult, but you can do it. Never say never when it comes to these things.
7. Move it!
Sign up for the gym or a dance class and show them what you got! If you’re set on wanting to hit something, try a boxing class. Not only is this a good way to release endorphins, it’s a good way to get fit and meet new people.
We’re not suggesting a rebound relationship, but it’s a good location to start when you’re ready for another serious relationship.
If you let one person hinder your self-improvement, you lose. Now, if you’re not there to meet new people, at least you’re in it for the happy hormones, and if you’re concerned about your weight, exercise or dancing covers that too.
It’s like killing two birds with one stone, and it’s a win-win situation.
8. Love yourself.
Don’t think you’re not worthy of someone else’s love. Just because he or she dumped you means there’s something wrong with you. Your differences just got in the way so it didn’t work out.
For the women, a trip to the spa is just the thing – who can say no to a mani-pedi with a full body massage and all the works?
For the men, indulge yourself in something you’ve wanted to buy for a long time, but have no reason to buy it. Make your reason is“just because”.
There are a lot of ways to get over that nasty break up, and you might add them to the list. For now, though, these are just the key points, and we hope they help.
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