So, she’s gorgeous and she’s just your type…but she is so shy, how do you break the ice, and flirt with a shy girl?
Flirting may come easily to you and be one of your natural gifts, or if it isn’t, flirting can be learned with practice. Even the best flirters have to alter their game plan, when flirting with a shy girl.
If you are clueless about how to flirt with a shy girl, try these strategies and you will be successful in your flirtatious conversations with the girl of your dreams.
Strategy #1 Slow and steady wins the race. Shy girls are easily frightened and put off by overly confident or cocky men. Some of them have low self esteem or have been abused by men in the past.
The most important advice I can give you is to slowly win this girl’s confidence, and make her feel comfortable around you.
So, for starters, spend some period of time…a week or longer, just smiling and saying ‘hi’ to her every day, and calling her by name. After you determine that she is comfortable with your daily ‘hello’, then you can progress to Strategy #2.
Strategy #2 Ask her questions about herself and her interests. For example, “I see you here every day (in the library, at Starbucks), what are you studying/researching?”
Listen carefully for her answers. Encourage her. By asking open-ended questions, she will begin to share information about herself which will give you areas which you can use to flirt with her later.
If your ultimate goal is to date this girl, then the information you get will also help you do your homework, so that you will know the types of activities and events that you can ask her to do with you on a date, when you ask her out (probably much later).
Once you have found some common ground, and assuming she hasn’t run away already, proceed to Strategy #3.
Strategy #3 Compliment her on a non-physical characteristic. Maybe you are her customer and she has great customer service skills. Maybe she is always cheerful, on time, funny, honest, a great listener, or a good problem solver. So you might say to her, “Hey ______, how are you today?
I always enjoy getting to see you because you are _______________. OR “_____________, you are one of my favorite people because __________________.” Complimenting her on a non-physical characteristic is a great way to make her feel comfortable around you, and to let her know that you like her. Once you have mastered the non-physical compliment, proceed to Strategy #4.
Strategy #4 Compliment her on a personal, physical feature, in a non-sexual way. You can compliment your shy girl on her hair, smile, unique laugh, sense of humor, eyes, her freckles, etc. You are going to fail miserably if you compliment her on her breasts, buttocks, cleavage, etc.
Again, the overall strategy here, is for this gorgeous, shy girl, to feel safe and secure around you. You want to build up her confidence and let her know you are genuine interested in her as a person.
Strategy #5 Practice. If flirting doesn’t come naturally to you, then find a woman; your mother, your sister, your best female friend, and tell them that you need to practice flirting so that you can have a light, happy conversation with a shy girl.
Most women will be thrilled that you value their opinion enough to practice on them.
Listen to their critique, because their feedback is invaluable. You can also practice on random people you encounter.
They don’t have to be people that you are interested in or attracted to, just test subjects, where you can learn how to express yourself in a way which is natural, fun-loving and not stiff or stilted.
You can also practice in the mirror so that you can practice becoming comfortable with your moves, voice tone, and facial expressions.
Strategy #6 Let the verbal flirting begin! It is safest to start with non-risqué, non-sexual, flirting about happy topics.
It is also great to have an opening observation or a statement to make, preferably not about the weather, or some lame one-liner you have heard in a club.
If you are using some ‘line’ you have heard, make sure that when the person used it, the people around weren’t wincing.
If they were, it’s not worth repeating. Here, it helps to be creative and to draw from something your shy girl said way back during Strategy #2 about herself and her interests.
Start with playful topics which are less personal and which show that you were paying attention to what she said in earlier conversations.
Eventually move into topics which are more personal and even subtly sexual in nature, if you determine she is open or ready for this type of subject matter.
Strategy #7 Good flirting also involves non-verbal flirting. Non-verbal flirting includes facial expressions, eye contact, knowing glances, smiling, standing closer to her, leaning in to listen closer, touching her arm, hand, shoulder, and sometimes, even winking at her or raising an eyebrow.
Be careful with the winking…you don’t want to look like a character on SNL.
When you move into the area of touching your shy girl, you must move extremely slowly or you will risk frightening her away at this stage of the game. Then you would have to start over at the beginning to win her trust again.
Flirting is some of the most fun you can have when dating or interacting with members of the opposite sex. If you haven’t mastered the art of flirting, or if you are trying to connect with a shy girl, practice the strategies I have outlined for you, and you won’t be sorry.
By the way, when your shy girl flirts back, she is ready to be asked out on a date! So what are you waiting for? You don’t have time to waste.
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