January 3, 2011

6 Tips On Where To Go On A First Date

Where to go on a first date

A first date can play a crucial role in setting the atmosphere for your meeting and this can play a huge part in determining both individuals experience and mood.

1. Pick somewhere on neutral territory

My first tip is to pick somewhere that is on neutral ground. Do not go to your favourite bar/restaurant/coffee shop. Chances are that there may be people that you know who you could run into and this can be nerve wracking for your date.

There are the interruptions for a start – never a good move! Then the awkwardness when an old friend who lacks social etiquette skills bounds over and outstays their welcome (even sits down to join you) not realising that you are actually in the middle of a date.

This of course could also lead onto them asking your date’s name and how the two of you know each other, which can lead to one or both of you stumbling over your words.

Last but not least, you could of course have your ex walk right in on the action, and this may be sitting in the back of your date’s mind.

They may even begin to wonder if this is part of a bigger plan and that secretly, you are out on this date because you want your ex back – friends of your ex may see you and play Chinese whispers.

So, the first step, is take your meeting to a place where neither of you hang out regularly. Keep it fresh, and it can be a place that you discover together.

2. Pick somewhere that is affordable to both parties

This works for both sexes.

Guys, some girls DO insist on paying half on even a first date, so make sure that you take them to a place that you know that they can afford, to save any embarrassment when it comes to paying.

Girls, if you are used to your last boyfriend taking you to expensive restaurants and paying for everything, just remember that not all guys are the same, or do that. It can be off-putting if a girl appears to be ‘high maintenance’ right away.

Now this is not to say that you do not deserve to be spoiled. Of course you do! But on a first date, keep it light and keep it affordable. The idea is that you can both relax.

3. Put a time limit on it

Put a time limit on it so that there is not this awkwardness if one of you wants to leave but does not know how to make that exit.

Arrange to meet and say that you have a couple of hours free on this day at that time, so why don’t you do something like grab a coffee or go for a bite to eat.

This way, when you both leave the house you will have a rough idea of how long you will be together for and can quit worrying about how you are going to fill the time and just make the most of the time that you have.

4. Pick an activity and venue that allows ‘talk time’

The whole point of a first date is that it allows you both to perhaps meet for the first time, or get a better insight into what each other is about. Try and keep things bright and breezy.

Coffee in a funky coffee shop is an idea (not a down trodden café though!), or perhaps grabbing a bite to eat together. Keep things chatty, and then wind the date up once the coffee or food is done.

Say that you have to dash off to a meeting and leave your date wanting more. One note though, when planning talk time, you have to remember that there are some topics that are just out of bounds. Your ex for one!

5. Avoid the ‘romance’!

Yes you read that correctly! So many people over think the first date and go way too over the top! Right now, you do not even know if you two are going to truly hit it off. Keep things light, relaxed and comfortable.

You do not need any extra pressure. Just go for coffee as I mention above and hold back on the candles and rose petals until you get to date three.

Think of date one as simply being the meeting of two people.

Nothing more and nothing less. The surroundings do not need to any extra pressure – you are both nervous as it is, so opt for relaxed.

6. Avoid taking the date back to your place

It doesn’t matter how great you appear to have got on. It’s much better to end things on a high note, and head home with you both wishing that the date could have lasted longer.

Avoid taking things back to ‘your place or mine’ as this can lead to all sorts of issues. Sure, I am all for being spontaneous.

But most issues that arise the day after a first date come from people wondering whether they revealed too much, or whether they should have sat kissing for hours, or whether they should have jumped into bed on the first date!

What you choose to do on that front is personal, and YOUR choice. I can just advise here and make no moral judgement. But it is true, that guys in particular, judge a girl if she has sex on the first date.

So what you choose to do is dependent on where you’d like things to go with this person, further down the road. It’s best all round, to avoid even getting into that dilemma on the first date and keep things causal.

Sometimes, one person ends up ‘going in for coffee’ at the others place, because they have given them a ride home. Now some guys like to do this, to make sure that a woman is ‘safe’.

So if you are one of those guys, go for it, but drop the line in ‘I’d love to drop you home before I head to my meeting’. This sets the boundaries and makes it clear that you will be leaving right away.

Girls, you can say something like ‘that would be lovely thank you, I’ll have that little bit of extra time to get ready for work’.

Whatever you choose to do, keep it brief, full of laughter and have fun. A first date is simply a meeting of two people. Don’t forget that!

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