1. Don’t be flashing the flesh!
Okay, this sounds a little harsh, but if your profile photos show too much flesh, then there is going to be one thing on a guy’s mind.
No disrespect to guys reading this, but men do tend to be more visually orientated than women are, and if you have it all on display right away, he will make a first impression that may not be a true reflection of who you really are.
I am not being prudish or saying that you should dress like your Mother, sexiness is great!
But just relax, and be yourself. So many girls online do what is known as the ‘trout pout’ – you know the look that I am talking about right?
The pursing of the lips, the holding of the camera phone right above your head so that it is looking down at you as you glare up at it seductively.
Men apparently do not find this look attractive and would prefer us women to just act naturally. So let your real beauty shine and give him something to think about rather than have it all on show right away.
Get that figure hugging black dress out, team it with some boots, and show him your curves – get him wondering what’s under the wrapping!
2. Don’t be too emotionally available
It’s just a fact of life, that women are more emotionally open than men. This does not mean that women are more emotional than men. Just that women tend to let it all hang out, as they see it as a way to get closer to another.
But men prefer to wait until they are actually with someone for that to come into play, and when first looking for a potential mate, tend to look for someone who is positive, in control of her emotions and knows what she is looking for in life.
Of course, being on a dating site, we all know that we are there for one reason – we are looking for love and not happy with where we have perhaps been in life in some ways. But you do not need to share this on your public profile! You’d be amazed how many people do!
Life stories about how the husband cheated but they are remaining hopeful that there must be some decent men out there – this comes across as cynical and screams ‘she is bitter’.
Leave the past in the past, and focus on the present, and there is a time and a place for bringing up the other stuff, and that is when you are part of a couple.
3. Don’t use profile photos that involve other men
Of course, photos that are of a group of friends are perfectly fine! And I am not suggesting that you should pretend to be someone who does not have friends of the opposite sex either.
But some women think that if they show endless photos of themselves with other men on nights out, then they appear more ‘desirable’ to the opposite sex.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys who are looking for love online, are there because they have already been hurt in the past, and this could include having met the kinds of women who are not faithful shall we say.
Sadly, once we get past a certain age, we all have ‘baggage’ and when putting yourself back out there, there may also be a certain fear attached to this, the fear that genuine people no longer exist, and anyone and everyone is out there to ‘use people’ and then spit them out.
The notion that true love still exists is not as popular as it once was. So don’t paint yourself as being someone who goes out seeking the attention of numerous guys, as this can be off putting.
A guy make feel, subconsciously, that you will have guys after you all of the time, and if this is something he has struggled with recently, he may skip your profile under the false impression that you’d cause him nothing but trouble, and that you could potentially be a female ‘player’.
4. Don’t look at men as being a necessity
Okay, so part of why you fancy having a new man in your life, could well be that you also would like your children (if you have them) to have a father figure, and would prefer not to have to change the light bulb or get rid of spiders by yourself.
But men do not want to feel like they are there simply to be the provider or the fixer (although yes, they do like to feel this along with other things).
Focus on the type of man that you would like to meet. What qualities would he have as an individual?
Women tend to categorize men – all men are players, all men are cheaters, all men focus on sex, all men …. Make the guy feel like he stands out alone and is not just one of a ‘pack’. Use adjectives to describe the qualities that you would like him to have.
Make a guy feel like you are seeking that soul mate, and looking for a partner, because guy’s need to be looked after too.
Yes, women are told to play the Damsel in Distress and grab a guy’s attention by appearing like she needs someone to care for her, but sometimes, this can be demonstrated to the extreme, and today, men are more inclined to want a woman who can meet in the middle.
5. Remember that you are ‘female’
Okay, so that does sound crazy. But you will probably have encountered the kind of woman that I am about to describe to you. Women who want to act like ‘one of the lads’.
Women who believe that in order to appear strong, and independent, they should not appear vulnerable, so almost repress their femininity. A strong woman, can also be vulnerable, speak from the heart, and know that this is NOT a sign of ‘weakness’.
Men and women are supposed to be different. Men love a woman who acts like a woman – and displays qualities such as caring, nurturing, allowing the man to be courteous, and meet her needs as a woman.
It’s fact, that men are hunters and like to chase the Vixen – so try not to present yourself as ‘one of the lads’ – they can get masculine qualities from hanging out with their guy friends.
Just be yourself, and don’t appear to be competing with guys as you describe yourself, don’t be looking as though you are trying too hard. That is locker room talk, and this is dating!
The online world is extremely busy these days so you just never know who could be lurking around the corner. Have fun, be yourself, and let the right one pursue you!
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